“A Letter To My Younger Self”

Growing up as a child, I would wake up to an environment full of hopelessness; I am not too fond of that word because it never worked for me. In aggravation, I wanted better. I wanted to be better. I reminisce, picturing myself in a conducive environment with less poverty, less hunger, and more happiness other than the ordinary.
Hey little girl, do not wish for things you never had but pray for what you want. What you want is what you get, and what you do not want comes to you.
When you seek deep within, stop regretting all your mistakes, and learn from them. Everything you go through becomes your truth, and absolutely no one can take your light.
In the darkness, forget about the nightmares you are too afraid of— redeem yourself. Close your eyes and worry about nothing, and you will sleep like a baby in a world unknown of evil.
Hey little girl, do not chase after riches, for you are wealth. When big brother tells you, “you are as beautiful as the next-door girl,” believe it. When people laugh at you and say you come from nothing, remember where you are going. When naysayers laugh and mock at you, laugh back with a good spirit.
Hey little girl, you are strong, brave, beautiful, selfless, happy, and courageous. Do not worry too much about the things you can’t control.
To my younger self, when I was young, I used to feel insecure about my height, legs, and breasts. I thought I had nothing compared to the other girls with big breasts, thick legs, and tall girls. As I grew older, I realized that I was beautiful just the way I was, but it took me a long time to recognize. Tyrell used to tell me, ” hey, you are beautiful than her.” I used to laugh at my brother, like yeah, right.
Growing up in Africa, I was too slim for media, too thin to be an actor, and didn’t fit in.
Looking back at it, my younger self would have felt more courageous if I did not compare too often. If only I accepted my likeness, body, and figure, I would not feel odd but fit right in myself and not others.
I’m coming out as a real feminist, someone who believes in empowerment, advocating women’s rights on political, social, and economic equality.
When I first came to America, I used to feel queer being around a lot of white people; insecure and not feeling accepted being the only black person. I am still trying to overcome that insecurity that I belong and accepting the defaults that I am not too tall, neither too short, and I’m just as beautiful as any other human.
I have grown from my insecurities to my younger self, adapting to different cultures and accepting my differences in others and myself. I do not regret the mistakes that I’ve made in the past. I do not intend to repeat the same mistakes but have grown from them.
To this, I give more to my son in the reflection of me to tell him all the beautiful things he needs to hear, encourage and uplift him in every way that I didn’t have the opportunity.